"Yes, I will go. I would rather grieve over your absence than over you." 11:14 PM

This is my biggest fear and yet one of my greatest inspirations to write about. I fear being cheated on more than anything. xo

When words stopped being enough

You crept in after dark
leaving your shoes by the door
next to the box of runaway smiles
that you kept ready
on the off-chance
I wasn't the one

we hardly slept that night
the sheets still bunched 
at the foot of my bed
angry and unmade
I tossed and turned
But I felt your empty side
-with its pillow still creased
by your movements from the night before-
and I knew its judgment

I found you
In your leather chair
 illuminated by a blue glow
flipping channels
avoiding my eyes

Your phone hummed in your pocket
You silenced it
Poison bubbled in my stomach
She was in the room with us
laughing at my failure
flashing perfect teeth
twisting the silver band off your finger

I heard my voice
a whisper in my throat
grow stronger as the words rolled down my tongue
and stronger still as they
Bounced off the portraits on the wall 
where we sat smiling and giggling forevers,
until the room was my soul
and my love fogged the windows 
and my arms couldn't reach you

the words wouldn't stop 
until you'd walked to the door
picked up your box of runaway smiles
and slipped on your shoes